My day and life

Sooo I can’t sleep. Still! I got off work at 12:30! And have to be back at 8. Agghh. Defiantly should not have taken that 5 hour energy at 11.

Sooo I’m at nicole’s house. She’s amazing. I really can’t wait for my day to start! I wanna find my other bff Danny! Lol

Im gonna miss him and nicole. Like a lot!

I love working. It’s amazing! Well its amazing if you work with awesome people. And I work with some really awesome people. Lol. And some not so… but anyway. Nicole(server) is my “bff” and Danny(head chef) is my “guy bff” lol and nicoles “guy bff” is chris(supervisor) Im gonna miss working there

It’s so hot outside. I wanna go to the pool.

My life is so fucked up. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to deal with this. Ahhhh it makes me sick.

I have court today. I can’t sleep I’ve been waking up all night. I’m nervous Idk what’s gonna happen. I have no reason to be nervous but I am. I know everything is gonna be ok in the end. I feel bad for my brother. Today is his day off and he has to come to court with me…

Then after I have work for 9 hours…

Ya know with everything that’s going on in my life.. if I was 21 I’d be an alcoholic.

But I’m not and will not. I have to remember… life goes on. No time to dwell on the past.

Im sitting in the lake summer community collage.. waiting to go talk to the aid people. It pisses me off because I was told to fillout all the paper work online.. but then I come back and was told by another person that I have to print the papers out and then fill them out. Im getting pissed off. This is all a bunch of bullshit. I have only a few days to get all the paperwork together now. If they would have told me the correct info the first time I would not be wondering if I was going to take classes this summer.

I hate this shit.

But on a positive note today is pay day.even if I get paid the smallest amount ever!

I regret coming home that day. I regret giving you another chance. I could have stayed away but I came back because I knew you needed me, even if you treat me like I am useless. If you keep pushing me, if I leave one more time, if you tell me your kicking me out one more time, I will NEVER come back.

I can take care of my self….. if I stop taking care of you.

I feel misrable when your around. Why can’t you ever let me be happy? Why are you so angry? I didn’t think you blamed me for everything that’s happening, but now I know you do. Why do you call me selfish and self centred when I gave up everything to keep out family together. And I continue to give up my life to help you.

I do everything possible to keep you happy, why can’t you do the same?