My day and life

Boys are all the same right? That’s what I always though, until now. I’ve realized that there not. All my life I’ve had no reason to think differently. Then one day someone came back into my left. But he didn’t leave like all the rest. He made sure I know we was coming back. I think I have the best friend possible.

Well two. The other is a girl and she’s just as amazing. But I’m not talking about her at the moment… the title does say boys right?

It’s official I’m like the worst person ever. Lmao its ok though. Whats new. Lol

It’s 2 and I’m suppose to be up at 4:30 guess sleeping is out of the question. I’m gonna live off coffee

Graduation tomorrow. Gonna be pissed if my day is ruined.

I love being a kinda normal 18 year old. Wonder how long this is gonna last…

Well yesterday me and my mom got in a fight. And I packed my shit and left. She kept calling and I agreed to come home. I haven’t talked to her since I got here. Maybe she’s mad I would actually pack up and leave on mothers day. Or that I didn’t spend time with her on mothers day. I really don’t know.

so im back home now and this morning she walked in my room and turned on my light to wake me up and walked out. So I took my brother to school. I have no idea where she is. Or what I’m support to be doing. But when she gets home shes gonna yell because I haven’t done ANYTHING! what ever i dont care.

Sooo I can’t sleep. Still! I got off work at 12:30! And have to be back at 8. Agghh. Defiantly should not have taken that 5 hour energy at 11.

Sooo I’m at nicole’s house. She’s amazing. I really can’t wait for my day to start! I wanna find my other bff Danny! Lol

Im gonna miss him and nicole. Like a lot!

I love working. It’s amazing! Well its amazing if you work with awesome people. And I work with some really awesome people. Lol. And some not so… but anyway. Nicole(server) is my “bff” and Danny(head chef) is my “guy bff” lol and nicoles “guy bff” is chris(supervisor) Im gonna miss working there

It’s so hot outside. I wanna go to the pool.

My life is so fucked up. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to deal with this. Ahhhh it makes me sick.

I have court today. I can’t sleep I’ve been waking up all night. I’m nervous Idk what’s gonna happen. I have no reason to be nervous but I am. I know everything is gonna be ok in the end. I feel bad for my brother. Today is his day off and he has to come to court with me…

Then after I have work for 9 hours…

Ya know with everything that’s going on in my life.. if I was 21 I’d be an alcoholic.

But I’m not and will not. I have to remember… life goes on. No time to dwell on the past.

Im sitting in the lake summer community collage.. waiting to go talk to the aid people. It pisses me off because I was told to fillout all the paper work online.. but then I come back and was told by another person that I have to print the papers out and then fill them out. Im getting pissed off. This is all a bunch of bullshit. I have only a few days to get all the paperwork together now. If they would have told me the correct info the first time I would not be wondering if I was going to take classes this summer.

I hate this shit.

But on a positive note today is pay day.even if I get paid the smallest amount ever!

I regret coming home that day. I regret giving you another chance. I could have stayed away but I came back because I knew you needed me, even if you treat me like I am useless. If you keep pushing me, if I leave one more time, if you tell me your kicking me out one more time, I will NEVER come back.

I can take care of my self….. if I stop taking care of you.

I feel misrable when your around. Why can’t you ever let me be happy? Why are you so angry? I didn’t think you blamed me for everything that’s happening, but now I know you do. Why do you call me selfish and self centred when I gave up everything to keep out family together. And I continue to give up my life to help you.

I do everything possible to keep you happy, why can’t you do the same?

I don’t want any responsibilities anymore. I just wanna go and have fun. But no I can’t. I’m always working going to school/doing stuff for collage or babysitting. Wtf I can’t wait to do what I want when I want. And make my own schedule.

When people make stuff up.

So I love how my mom asked me to make a app for Leo to get clean. I did and it was for Friday. The lady calls the day before but I was never reminded to take him.

Now usually I wouldn’t forget but I’ve worked 22 hours in 2 day.

Then I when I got home (at 10:15) no one was home. So I started the dryer and took a shower.

After my shower I was ready to pass out but I went to lay out the cloths so when they got home they could put it away (none of it was mine) and I went to bed.

At 11:00 my mom thought it would be appropriate to wake me up and tell me to do the laundry why she takes a shower.

It’s so fucked up.

And now today I work 12 hours. And she wants to complain because I have a job. Really? And you want to act like I owe you? I don’t owe you jack.

School comes first….. well no shit. But until school starts I’m working my ask off.

It’s not worth 8 an hour. Yeah well I’m going to apply for a waitress in like 2 months. So STFU. K thanks.

I went from chipmunk to beach ball face. WTF I just want to be back to normal.

My face looks like a chipmunk. No lie a chipmunk! I had to get my wisdom teeth out and had to get an iv. I was so scared, but I lived. So at first when I got out I looked like a fish blowing bubbles now a fucking chipmunk that’s on 5 yea 5 med’s! And I can’t even drive. Not that I would want to leave the house looking like I do. Ahhhhhhhhhhh I better look normal soon!

My ex. What can I day about hm? When I met him he was the new kid… Well I thought he was anyway. Apparently he was there for about a week maybe more. When I dated him I was happy. But now that i think about the time we dated there was nothing there. I haven’t talked to him in over a year and I miss him sometimes he was like my best friend. But I hope he’s happy, because I know I am.

My father James and my siblings are strangers To me right now. But we are getting to know each other. They are amazing and welcoming me with open arms. I’m glad they army pushing me away and are accepting of me.

1) a house in the country. 30min-hour out of a city so I can work there.

2) a family. With a smokin hubby.

3) be successful. Good job.

4) to take lots of vacations.

5) to adopt 2 children.

6) have lots of friends who I have house party’s every other weekend. For things like football or w.e.

7) to help people.

8) compleat my bucket list.

If someone looked in on my life they would think I was crazy.

Honestly I’ve been planing what I’m going to do. As in next week next month where I want to go. I think planing makes me have something to look forward to. I know its prob not gonna happen but it’s nice to think about. I have decided that I don’t wanna plan what I’m gonna do I wanna keep it a mystery. Because if I know what I’m gonna do or where I’m gonna be in a year or five years it’s gonna ruin my day. So for that I’m going to just take it one day at a time.

I don’t know why everyone worries about me. Especially my mom. I forgot it was wed so I was late to get mybrother so she was calling me over and over it was ridiculous. She said she didn’t know where I was and that I could have been dead or something. Well what I have to say to that is, if I die I die. You can’t choose when you die.

Oh my gosh I don’t feel good at all. =(

How dare you say I don’t do anything. That I haven’t done anything. I do everything. Ive given up so much for you. My future looks like crap as of now. I’m almost 18 and if you don’t start realizing that soon, I’m going to have to show you and you arnt gonna like it. Realize you need me! You can’t do it on your own.

So get smart was ok. Didn’t love it but it wasn’t bad. Now Jeff Dunham! Tomorrow? Apply at a few places I think. Maybe take my 4 HOUR driving corse! Zumba a little. :) sounds like an ok day! :)

heyyitsnichole:

yelyahwilliams:

beautifulinsanity:

On the outside you’re like:

But on the inside you’re like:

 

Yup. Basically. 

This is ridiculously true.

i have a feeling this movie is going to be funny. did you know it was made in 2008? it feels like i was just watching commercials about it.